The Breakup
We are all aware of the hardship caused by long distance relationships, growing apart to the extent of the relationship breaking up is common enough, but growing apart is not confined to just long distance relationships. It's a more common problem between couples than you might imagine.
There are many things that can make couples grow apart. Most often it is just the passage of time and the changes that life brings with it. Sometimes developing different or new interests can mean a new set of friends, this can also happen if you change your job. Tragedy or illness ( not necessarily your own, could be someone close like a family member or friend ), but it makes you reconsider your life and goals, possibly even your beliefs. All these things will change you to some degree and will change your partner in a different way. These are just examples, life can be complicated, but one thing we can be sure of is that we are continually changing throughout our lives and if we don't always change the same way as a couple it can mean that we grow apart. In fact, sometimes these changes will push you apart.
Is there a remedy? Are there ways to avoid growing apart? If you've already gone through the breakup, can you get your ex back?
These are all good questions, and surprisingly common ones as well.
Once you've realised that you are growing apart, or already have grown apart, then you can both take the necessary steps to reverse the process and bring you both back in line with each other. It will mean spending more time together and being involved in each others interests, at least to some degree. It will take some effort and a real desire from both of you to succeed, but it's a relatively simply process, noticing that you're growing apart is the hardest bit.
There are other reasons behind growing apart that can be more difficult to fix. Our habits and life experiences aren't the only things to change over time. Our feelings change as well, and sometimes not the way we want them to. Falling in love is exciting and most of us expect that feeling to last forever, however, the feeling of love will change as well. The passage of time changes everything and it would be unrealistic to expect love not to. Very often, love grows stronger as time passes and we get to know our partner better and share our lives together, but this is not written in stone. Sometimes the feeling of love diminishes instead of growing, and when this happens there is not very much you can do about it. You can't force these feelings either way.
Having said that, sometimes spending some time apart can have a positive effect on your feelings for your partner. Remember the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Yes, it can have that effect, and it is one of the methods used to fix the breakup once the relationship has deteriorated to that extent, but it can be used before the breakup has happened. At least if you spend some time apart and your feelings don't change, then you know that your relationship has truly finished, so it is worthwhile trying this method, at least you will know one way or the other.
If you want to salvage your relationship, then try having a real heart-to-heart talk with your partner. If you could both agree to relationship counselling, you would both likely find it a positive experience, even if the end result is still your relationship breakup. The growing apart relationship breakup needn't be final if you are both willing to work at it, and, if necessary, get some expert help.
